Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Beyond Aspergers...

Almost completely blocked.  Wanting to have an essay finished by next Tuesday, my brain is so scattered. Just cross that I can't focus, cross with the heat and all the screaming, and the mute, cross, cross.  Cross it's going to the 6 week holiday soon, 6 weeks of negotiating between the kids, each year this gets harder and harder as the gap between my two children get more increased.  Cross I don't know the full extent of my child's difficulties and no one can tell me, cross because this is legitimate, cross because I'm PMS (very cross).  Just bloody cross ok?

Cross because I don't know how to fully help my other child, cross because my reaction to other's emotions is take them personally, feel destroyed by them, and then work out how to fix them, by myself.  Really CROSS about this one.  Not half as cross as I am about being PMS though.  I really, really AM CROSS about that.

Cross with the fact my body is getting fat again, bloated and painful.  Cross because for me I can only really entertain one project outside of the children's needs - so this is either health OR my essay.  Cross because I'm ASD and yet I lack the focus to follow my special interest.  Cross because I shouldn't be so cross. CROSS.  Bloody cross, I wish it would fuck off.

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