I like meditating! It's so nice to reconnect with that softer side that allows space for all of me all the nice and nasty bits without discrimination. That softer space is pointing to all the perfectionism still governing my relationships - guess what with mum lol. I've realised it takes 2 to tango and although there is love between us there is a lot of other stuff too and its ok for all of it to be there. So next time we talk on the phone and she complains about hmmm well everything lol I'm going to try and remember the middle path through it all, I dont need to jump and solve it, or feel guilty that I feel resentful for being placed in a "saviour" position, I can just allow it to be there and smile at my perfectionism.
Deborah is wonderful - nothing like a small baby as a teacher. So much love which gives me a nice break from the fear and perfectionism, giving me a good opportunity to appreciate all of me. Gazing in her deep grey eyes which sparkle like heamatite while she nurses is mind-blowing. Such a thing to be born a female and to have offered a ride to someone else for 9 months! Gratitude to all the Buddha's but especially Green Tara.